| Note To Self |
[01 Dec 2006|08:56pm] |
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Do not fall for attractive guys who flirt with you in French. Even if they are harmless freshman, or adorable sophmores, or that junior who just turned seventeen. Their main goal in life is to screw yours up.
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| Boobs... |
[01 Oct 2006|04:07pm] |
An estimated 212,920 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to occur among women in the United States during 2006. An estimated 40,970 women will die from breast cancer. It is estimated that 1,720 men will be diagnosed and 460 men will die of breast cancer during 2006. If detected early, the five-year survival rate exceeds 95%. Mammograms are among the best early detection methods.
Use October to spread the message about Breast Cancer Awareness. Take the time to fund free mammograms! Create a self-exam habit for yourself and encourage others to do the same. Know your body and know the facts. Boobie Power 2006!
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| I'm such an effing hypocrite |
[01 Oct 2006|01:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 Kevin :) |
] |
I must be the world's largest hypocrite.
Like, when I say hate people who say gay and retarded like they mean stupid, yet I use them waay to casually.
But now, I'm focusing my opinion of the male population. I'm all screw-boys-and-be-lesbians, but now I'm all I-love-boys.
Why- Homecoming.
Last night was Homecoming. I wore a beautiful green dress that I bought at Salvation Army, then got alterated at a tailor's (since I'm not a size-10), which everyone loved, silver hooker heels that killed my feet but brought me up to Kyle's shoulder (he's 6'3"...and not my date), and way too much makeup...I looked eighteen, and I'm a very young looking fifteen.
As in, it's a god-awful shame that I was dateless.
So yeah, I danced with all my friends, got out of dancing with Kyle. That was fun. Until of course, I got semi-dehydrated and spent half the dance sitting down, making sure that I didn't upchuck.
Then, I walked around the building with my best friend, Beccah, then sat in the lobby with Whit and Lauren. About ten minutes later, they wanted to know the time. So, I headed to my locker to check the time on my cell phone.
And of course, I wouldn't be telling you this story if there wasn't some amazing ending. So, I'll get to it.
I mentioned someone named "K" in my earlier entries. Since I was in a computer lab where people could find out who I was talking about, I wasn't specific about whom I talked about. K's name is Kevin, and I've had a crush on him for like a year.
So I ran into Kevin, who I can only assume was looking for his date, who ditched him. He asked me to dance. I ran back to Whit and Lauren, and told them the time before dashing back to Kevin.
I've slowdanced with a grand total of three guys my age. Numero uno was Will, and it was to make his slut ex-girlfriend jealous. Numero dos was David la Dickhead, who proceeded to dump me the next day via myspace message. We still aren't talking, since he told me he loved me then proceeded to be a dick as I tried to break that I didn't feel the same way as nicely as possible.
And of course, Kevin.
Out of all the slowdances I've actually had, the one I remember the most details from was Kevin's. And not because it was yesterday, because it meant the most to me. With David, it felt forced, since we were going out. And I felt really uncomfortable, because he's only three inches taller than me. It felt like I was dancing with my guy friend from camp...and when he kissed me at the end, I kind of freaked out because I realized I didn't like him at all. With Will, I was so nervous, and I didn't really know what to do. I was thinking too much, and didn't leave any time to just live in the moment. I remember exactly how I felt, but not the exact motions of the dance. The day after the dance, I wasn't sure if I had dreamed dancing with Will or had actually done.
With Kevin, it was so different. I was only excited, not even the slightest bit nervous. We totally weren't dancing on tempo (fast song, slow dancing), but we didn't care. And of course, only with Kevin was I able to have everything touch. I mean, a portion of the song was spent with my head on his chest. As we got closer and closer, I got closer and closer to heaven.
Jesus...I think I'm in love.
I mean, the dance was amazing. Even though everything before that was a disaster, I felt like I was floating on air. And Kevin has been my main crush for awhile. Kevin went out with one of my ex-friends last year, and this year we've gotten really close.
I mean, flirting all the time, playfully shoving each other in the hallway, smiles from across the hall. And of course, we played footsie on the bus a few days ago as he talked to a girl who I thought might have been his girlfriend...but I figured out they weren't.
But now I wonder what comes next. I mean, I might be overanalysing this, but he's sending me signals that he might want to date me. I really like him...I really want to date him.
So yes, I'm going to be in a good mood for now.
But of course, there's always going to be the worried part that tells me that it'll be nothing, and I'll be let down. I mean, it happened with Will, and kind of happened with David.
But of course, when that comes up, I'll remember the dance and smile.
Kevin...
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[15 Sep 2006|07:44pm] |
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mood |
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 watch me paint kitten prints.. |
] |
Title: The Nightlife
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Characters: Selphie, Irvine
Rating: R/NC-17
Summary: He’d left her, hard and dry for something he thought was better. Every move she made was a patch to heal her heart. But when he finally comes back into her life in the form of a rape and murder mission, can she continue to patch up everything. SelphiexIrvine.
Chapter: Prologue- Pieces of Me
Notes: I am aware of how incredibly OOC Selphie is in this fic. I like portraying Selphie in a not so happy way, because life isn’t always sunshine and daises. I tried to put enough back-story to show why Selphie isn’t happy and bubbly. But over the course of the story, she turns back into her old self. Also, comments and suggestions WILL be put to heart and make me go *squee*!
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| Whatever |
[15 Sep 2006|04:36pm] |
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mood |
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 insane |
] |
School has been in session for like...2 weeks now, and I'm pretty much spending all my time writing.
And yeah, I should be doing Algebra homework instead of continuing "The Nightlife" (soon to be on Ficwad, under the penname Princess_Rixie, and maybe on here as well???), but I'm addicted. I've finished the prologue, and part of chapter one. I've made Selphie really emo and Squall-ish. Which really aren't the same, but life's thrown her some shit.
My life has been pretty uneventful. Luckily, there are hot juniors in my Chem class, and I finally have something to talk to Eric and Kyle about that isn't disgusting- video games. I guess being a Final Fantasy whore allows me to have something to talk to sick guy friends about. Thank you Square-Enix for that, my loves.
And of course, I can promise the first chapters of "The Nightlife" and "Raid My Heart" soon. Duh.
Well, I have to indulge in Selvine fluff. Or at least Rippal fluff. Whatever I can find.
I'm so helpless sometimes.
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| Yes, I am aware that I haven't written in my LJ lately |
[02 Sep 2006|06:47pm] |
But that's mostly because no one reads my shit.
Well, I've been doing a lot of plot bunnie collecting, and I'll have a story up soon.
I've also been playing with the idea of making a role-playing community. Any ideas?
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| Lying, cheating, decieving |
[19 Jul 2006|08:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
Okay, so I'm not exactly bright and shiny nice person all the time, knowing me, but today I've had to crack a rare smile today.
For one, I'm now on A's radar. He still doesn't know my name, but I caught him pelting sour patch kids at my friend. It was hilarious.
Yesterday, I learned that he was a drummer, and he has a fabulous stomache. As in, he took off his shirt right in front of me.
What can I say, I'm a woman obsessed.
So onto todays topic- lying.
I lie to guys all the time. I make up excuses not to dance with them, not to talk to them, to avoid being around them. But we also lie about our sexuality.
Like the whole straight/bicurious crap when I knew I was bisexual.
But this is more independant/I don't need a man to complete me bullshit. It is semi-true that I realize that not having a boyfriend doesn't bring the appocalipse, since I've been on the market for five months now, but I really want a boyfriend.
But that's a problem, because my standards are sky high. As in, I could count my real crushes on two hands.
What I really want to know is...are my standards too high, or is every guy simply not good enough for people like me?
Okay, so I'll admit that I think I'm attractive. I mean, I've got my flaws, but after being hooted at by the male population of my camp's town, you learn to have an ego.
Okay, I'll admit I'm a bitch. A huge bitch. My sins could fill an entire page...or three. I have fun, and I'm somewhat satisfied with my life.
So I'm an attractive bitch. Shouldn't that make me the most wantable girl.
Or in nmy search to be the most perfect girl, am I pushing guys away?
I don't know. And I should get some sleep. That way, the day will be over and I can go to Starbucks and indulge in many a caffene fixs.
Well, I'll see ya bitches soon.
Love ya,
Sara
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| I'm so sick of men |
[18 Jul 2006|03:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bitchy |
] |
This has to be the most commonly used subject I've used. Considering my feminist skank side likes to ignore the clingy girly fucker I used to be.
I'm so bored. The computer labs are the only reminder that there is another world out there, past the heat and the money.
I think I've had enough of this for one year.
And I'm going home on Saturday.
Fun, fun, fun 'till Daddy takes the T-bird away.
I spent a ton of time this morning on planning for Raid My Heart, my own version of the rare-but-cliched Irvine/Selphie high school fic. It seems like a humble-jumbled mess of crap, but somehow I'll arrange to make my fic kickass like usual.
Considering how much I truly am learning in Creative Writing, it will still be the same Sara, with more detail. I'm just so excited...not.
So, the topic of today- why is every good guy taken? And if every man loves a bitch, then why are we all single?
I've been on the market now for...five months, since David the Dickhead dumped me via myspace, and I've been commented on, hit on, and even had friends tell me of crushes that their friends had on me. Never have I been intrerested in them.
But I've found some guys I'd date. Even here at camp. But they all have girlfriends, or see me as 'the bitchy friend'.
Am I only attractive to bad guys, or am I just pursueing a bunch of Mr. Wrongs?
A guy back at home, I will call him K. K is gorgeous, sweet, and my sort-of-friend's ex-boyfriend. And I think I'm in fucking love with him sometimes. The problem is that he only sees me as a friend, a friend he can flirt with and mess with my mind. It's tough crap.
And then there is this guy at camp, whom I will call A, who is totally goregous, but he also has a girlfriend, and we've never met before. I don't know anything other than he's hot, but I'm finding myself to be completely obsessed with him sometimes.
I'm so confused. And cold. The lab is freezing in contrast to the heat wave.
Shit.
I need a boyfriend. I'm sick of being single.
But I'm even sicker of men.
I should considering dropping the straight side, and being a full time lesbian from now on...
Infinent xs and os,
Sara
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| Sapppy |
[14 Jul 2006|03:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 Sapppie |
] |
Hello, my name is Sara, and I am a sappiness-aholic.
I've read more Rippal fanfiction in the last twenty minutes than I have in forevever.
Especially considering the fact that I should be off the computers by now.
But there's air conditioning.
I have nothing better to do. Except for quadding/boy-scoping.
Camp life's a little dull, I suppose.
In my last class, I read a Cosmo article that told us how guys love bitches.
I'm a bitch, and I can't even get a guy.
Screw this.
Hello, the name's Sara.
I'm in love withdrawl.
Shit.
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| Welcome to the Dark Side |
[14 Jul 2006|11:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
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bitchy |
] |
Hello, I'm Sara, and I'm almost fifteen. I'm also really bored, and in the middle of a camp class. Snooze.
I'm also functioning on four hours of sleep, and even Starbucks won't save me.
Not to mention I'm in the middle of a classroom full of snobby rich kids that make me look poverty stricken. Or as I say.
Welcome to the Dark Side.
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